My Life Story - By Ian Parker Starr

Today over a lunch at Pizza Hut, Ian told me his life story. Out of the blue he looked at my completely seriously and said:

"A long time ago I was in Mommy's belly. Then I kicked her. Then I got out. Then I cried in Target."

Ha. That is the story of his life. I laughed so hard that I cried.

Don't believe my son.

Yesterday we were getting ready to go out shopping with my grandma. There are three stairs that lead from the house to the garage. Ian was walking ahead of me, and I had all of the baby gear and Vanessa-Kate in the infant carseat behind. Ian fell down the stairs, face first. I sat Vanessa-Kate down and made sure he was okay. There didn't seem to be any real damage, and he only cried for 2 seconds before he dried up and asked to push the button on the wall to open the garage door. We got in the car, and all was well.

5 minutes later a voice comes from the back seat;

Ian: Mommy, I falled down in the garage.

Me: Yep.

Ian: I got a ouchie on my face.

Me: Yes, you did. Are you okay now?

Ian: You threw me down the stairs.

Me: No baby, you fell down the stairs.

Ian: Yeah! You throwed me.

Gees kid. What am I going to do with him.

Potty Training; Sense of humor required.

We've finally reached a pretty solid point in potty training with Ian. He doesn't have very many accidents, and he both pee's and poop's in the potty. So, we're doing pretty well. We try to make him wear his big boy underwear around the house...but he much prefers nudity.

Seriously, my kid is always nude. It's starting to become embarrassing. If you are my friend on facebook you might notice that Ian's naked behind is in the corner of many of my recent pictures of Vanessa-Kate. You might even think that I suddenly don't like Ian as much, due to the lack of pictures. But in reality...he's just always naked these days.

He has taken to wearing "underwear diapers", otherwise known as pull-up's to the rest of the world, while we're out. I know that this makes potty training take longer but to be completely honest; I don't care. I really don't mind changing slightly wet pull-up's for a little longer instead of constantly having to carry extra pairs of jeans and underwear with me. ::shrugs::

So I've learned that potty training takes patience, time, persistence, extra treats and praise and... one hell of a sense of humor. Parenting takes a person who can laugh at themselves and laugh things off. How else do you deal with your toddler loudly asking "Are you gonna make a biiigg poop?" everytime you take him into a public restroom with you. And you have to answer. If you don't, he will not hesitate to ask you again in a louder voice. If you tell him "yes", he will say "good job", if you tell him "no", he will say "Just try to make a big poop. I'll give you some candys." As a parent I suppose you just have to learn to laugh or you would just cry.

Yesterday he took his baby doll that we bought him when I found out that I was pregnant with Vanessa-Kate and put it on the potty. He quietly sat and coached and encouraged him to go poop in the potty. He was really very sweet about it. He even told that it was okay that he didn't go. I hope that kind of playing pretend is the way that he perceives me acting towards him.

Also, I must add, tiny little boy cartoon character underwear are the cutest things that have even been in my laundry. Ever.

Life with a Toddler:

Moo?

Conversation between my two year old nephew Aiden and my Mother today:

Aiden: Where Aunt Tab go?
Mom: She has to go make milk for the baby.
Aiden: Aunt Tab a cow?

Moooooo.

Singing Boy.

Hope it tickles your heart like it does mine. =)

Reunited.

Ian was reunited with one of his old best friends today while he was going through my nightstand, because he is a rotten kid who does things like that. He doesn't know how to use it properly anymore, since he has been separated from it for 8 whole months now.

He wasn't so happy when I tried to take it away. *sigh*

It will find a hiding place once he loses interest.

Things I never thought I'd say...

As a mother, I have learned that sometimes we end up saying things that we never thought we would say. Here are a few of mine:

"Only people who use the potty get to use toilet paper."

"Stop dragging the plunger up and down the hallway!"

"We don't smack peoples butts in the shower."

"Don't throw chicken please."

"You're missing what? Oh...have you picked through the diaper pail yet?"

"You peed in Daddy's shoe!"

"Stop wiping _____ in your hair"

"Vaseline is not food."

"Did you eat your book?"

"No...just because its in a shiny wrapper does not mean it's candy. That is a condom."

(Someone likes to dig through our bedroom drawers)

"Where did you get skittle? We don't buy skittles."

"If you don't eat the cereal off the floor I'm going to vacuum it up. Last chance!"

"I need more bananas. My kid ate 7 today."

"Stop trying to stick your wee in the drain"

"I'm driving. No, I do not have have tea, candy, cheese, bananas, or your papal up here with me at the moment."

My husband is pregnant too.

Yep, that's right. I'm pretty sure that my husband is pregnant.

He's not getting any fatter, but he should be. Anyone who has spent a lot of time around Toby knows that he isn't big on sweets. He's always the one who easily says "No thanks" to cake and ice cream at birthday parties. He allows me to eat 90% of the Christmas cookies we get in December. He never orders dessert, even when we are somewhere fantastic like the cheesecake factory.

All of that has changed recently.

The man eats candy like there is no tomorrow. He comes home from works and describes (in detail) how delicious the cake they had for his co-workers birthday was, and how he was so glad that two different people accidentally brought him cake at his desk. He makes stops at Panera at lunch and buys pastries. He raves about their cinnamon crunch bagel with cream cheese. He hops in bed and night and eats truffles from a box of candy.

And yet, he is still a perfect 32x32 standing just over 6 foot tall. He's slim, slender, and somehow manages to maintain muscle tone. I don't get it.

And here I stand at 5'6 (because I have SHRANK an entire inch since before I was pregnant with Ian) and getting rounder by the day. I'm pretty sure I woke up rounder than I was last night when I went to sleep. (I wish I were joking, but I'm not...at all).

On the bright side, I think he has stolen my sweets craving. When I was pregnant with Ian I could eat an entire box of golden oreo's in two sittings. Pop Tarts called my name in my sleep. It was hard. I had gestational diabetes. Ian was born a very large baby. When I got pregnant again I was determined to keep my blood sugar in check, to count carbs from the very start, and to have a healthier pregnancy. Thus so far, the sweet cravings have been at a minimum. I haven't been "diagnosed" with diabetes yet this time, but my test is next week, and I'm going to fail. It's just a matter of time.

So, I guess I can't make fun of him too much. He's just doing his part in making sure that the baby is healthy by stealing all of my cravings.

Fun Friday Night!

I was feeling guilty for being such a lazy Mommy over the last couple of days. I've just been run down and I've been sleeping in. But this morning, when my child slept in until almost 1pm (yes, I know, I'm bad, spare me the lecture) I realised that it was rubbing off on his and I felt horrible. I decided that we had to do something fun and productive today...and continue to do so from here on out. I cannot be this lazy anymore.

So, my Mom and I decided to take the boys to the Playplace at Mcdonalds. They had the time. of. their. lives. They ran and laughed and played for well over 2 hours, only stopping occasionally to chomp down a french fry or two. All in all, it was a ton of fun and I can't wait to take them back again. My rounded self even climbed through the tunnels as took the boys down the slide. Tunnels+Pregnancy=Pain. But the giggles they got out of going down the slide were well worth it.

Twas a good day.

Bubbles.

Bubbles and Aunt Nichole makes my baby happy. <3