A quick word about my Ian:

My Ian is a rough kid to parent.
He's sensitive, and picky, and isn't so keen on things not going according to his schedule.
He's fussy and finicky.
He's stubborn and sometimes he yells.
But...
There are so many "but's"
He's sweet, and kind, and as loving as they come
He worries about other's feelings, almost too often.
He's fun, and funny, and a joy to be around.
He makes me laugh, he makes me cry,
He makes me wonder what's going through his head often times.
He's a goofball and a nutcase
And he's my baby...
And he says that I'm his baby too.
He's my sweetpea, my sunshine, and my bubby boy.
And as rough as he is,
He is worth every second.

A letter to my son:

Ian,

I have to tell you...I often feel challenged by you these days. You are strong willed and thick headed. You're sensitive and easily frustrated. You fly off the handle quickly. You were recently described as regularly "going postal". I won't lie, it's pretty fitting.

We often have conversations that go something like this;

You: I want apple juice.

Me: Here's your apple juice. *hands over cup*

You: I don't wanannnnnttt appllllee juuuuiicce!!! *cups hits floor*

You kick, you scream, you cry. Sometimes, you even take a swing or two. It's hard. Someday you'll read this when you are older and I just want you to know that just because I keep my calm most of the time does not mean that it's easy. Often times I'm giving you a little piece of my mind in my head. Some days I feel defeated at the end of the day, like I'm not doing enough, like you wouldn't throw such fits if I did a better job. But then

I dust myself off and try again the next day. And usually, it's a little better. We're both growing in this "terrible two's" challenge we're going through. I'm learning how to be patient, and you are learning to control your emotions and self soothe, a tough feat for a little boy.

But, here's the truth; I don't mind the challenge. Because you are worth every stinkin' rotten second of it. You are my boy. And when the fits are over, and the apple juice is cleaned up, and the tears have dried, you are the sweetest thing in the whole world. Your cuddles chase my clouds away, no matter how heavy or grey they are. Your bright blue eyes lift my spirits. And your hugs and kisses warm my heart. You are the little boy who taught me, and is still teaching me, what it really means to love someone. Each day with you makes me a stronger, better, wiser person. Each day with you makes me more comfortable in my own skin. You're sweet, silly, loving, and caring. You are my boy, and I am your Mommy. No matter how challenging your tantrums and fits become, you will always be worth the challenge. Always.

I love you sweet pea.

Love,

Mommy

My Life Story - By Ian Parker Starr

Today over a lunch at Pizza Hut, Ian told me his life story. Out of the blue he looked at my completely seriously and said:

"A long time ago I was in Mommy's belly. Then I kicked her. Then I got out. Then I cried in Target."

Ha. That is the story of his life. I laughed so hard that I cried.

Don't believe my son.

Yesterday we were getting ready to go out shopping with my grandma. There are three stairs that lead from the house to the garage. Ian was walking ahead of me, and I had all of the baby gear and Vanessa-Kate in the infant carseat behind. Ian fell down the stairs, face first. I sat Vanessa-Kate down and made sure he was okay. There didn't seem to be any real damage, and he only cried for 2 seconds before he dried up and asked to push the button on the wall to open the garage door. We got in the car, and all was well.

5 minutes later a voice comes from the back seat;

Ian: Mommy, I falled down in the garage.

Me: Yep.

Ian: I got a ouchie on my face.

Me: Yes, you did. Are you okay now?

Ian: You threw me down the stairs.

Me: No baby, you fell down the stairs.

Ian: Yeah! You throwed me.

Gees kid. What am I going to do with him.

Potty Training; Sense of humor required.

We've finally reached a pretty solid point in potty training with Ian. He doesn't have very many accidents, and he both pee's and poop's in the potty. So, we're doing pretty well. We try to make him wear his big boy underwear around the house...but he much prefers nudity.

Seriously, my kid is always nude. It's starting to become embarrassing. If you are my friend on facebook you might notice that Ian's naked behind is in the corner of many of my recent pictures of Vanessa-Kate. You might even think that I suddenly don't like Ian as much, due to the lack of pictures. But in reality...he's just always naked these days.

He has taken to wearing "underwear diapers", otherwise known as pull-up's to the rest of the world, while we're out. I know that this makes potty training take longer but to be completely honest; I don't care. I really don't mind changing slightly wet pull-up's for a little longer instead of constantly having to carry extra pairs of jeans and underwear with me. ::shrugs::

So I've learned that potty training takes patience, time, persistence, extra treats and praise and... one hell of a sense of humor. Parenting takes a person who can laugh at themselves and laugh things off. How else do you deal with your toddler loudly asking "Are you gonna make a biiigg poop?" everytime you take him into a public restroom with you. And you have to answer. If you don't, he will not hesitate to ask you again in a louder voice. If you tell him "yes", he will say "good job", if you tell him "no", he will say "Just try to make a big poop. I'll give you some candys." As a parent I suppose you just have to learn to laugh or you would just cry.

Yesterday he took his baby doll that we bought him when I found out that I was pregnant with Vanessa-Kate and put it on the potty. He quietly sat and coached and encouraged him to go poop in the potty. He was really very sweet about it. He even told that it was okay that he didn't go. I hope that kind of playing pretend is the way that he perceives me acting towards him.

Also, I must add, tiny little boy cartoon character underwear are the cutest things that have even been in my laundry. Ever.

A letter to my son:

Lately I've been thinking about how much I miss having "Mommy & Ian time". All of our time used to be that kind of time. While Daddy was at work, it was the two of us; hanging out at home watching cartoons, going grocery shopping, snuggling in bed waiting for Daddy to come home, hanging out in Mamal and Papal's backyard playing...it was all Mommy & Ian time.

Your sister is so wonderful. She is so sweet and lovable. We wouldn't trade her for the world, and we know you wouldn't either, because she is "your baby". You love her so much, it's so sweet. But sometimes I wish that you and I could spend some Mommy & Ian time still. I think we should do that. We'll make a day of it, every once in a while. Just me and you.

You are such a special kid, and you're growing up so fast. You talk in sentences, and come up with your own thoughts, feelings, ideas...even jokes. But sometimes I forget that you're still a baby. You are only two years old. You're still my baby.

I'm so glad that you're not in a rush to get big. You still want my cuddles every night. You still want to hold my hand all of the time. You even like it when I wrap you up real tight in a blanket and say "Aw...it's a baby Ian". You just smile and say "Yes, I is Mommy's baby Ian".

Thank you for all of the love and happiness that you have brought into my life. You're my sweet pea.

Toddler Rules:

Toddler Rule #293:

When people leave the house instead of the popular "See you, be careful!", always leave them with something to worry about. Consider saying "See you, be fearful!"

Random Thought:

It's been almost two years, 1 more baby, and a million adorable photos later, but somehow I just can't bring myself to change my computer background.

Goodness he was a cute baby. <3

True Life: Terrible Two's

Call me an optimist, but I've always believed (err...well, strongly hoped) that the terrible two's didn't really exist. Or at the very least that they didn't happen to everyone, aka, me.

But I will openly admit, I. was. wrong. So very wrong.

Never again will I judge that Mother in Target who has that crazed "I'm about to go on a killing rampage" look in her eye with the screaming child in the cart. Because now that's me. Before becoming a parent I always thought that those people just didn't discipline their children, or that they didn't care about other people, or that maybe they didn't pay enough attention to the child. Ha. Maybe those thoughts are what built up the karma that made me into that Mother with the screaming child.

I promise. My child is not neglected. He also doesn't get away with everything he wants to do. Yet, he's still a monster.

Yes, a monster. That may sound harsh, but is true. He whines about ev-er-ry-thing. All day, every day. Most of my day is filled with high pitched screaming. I also spend a lot of time with Ian standing in front of me jumping up and down and tugging at any part of me that he get a hold of. He has always liked holding on to my thumb and rubbing my thumb nail. For a long time, it was cute, and comforting to both of us. These days he SCREAMS hysterically if I don't have a free hand all of the time. Everything is a challenge these days.

I feel guilty. The days with him are exhausting. Sometimes I find myself doing all that I can just to count down the hours until he (and I!) can fall asleep. I love him to death, and I know this is just a phase, but sometimes it's exhausting. But I've found that as I've talked to other Mom's with children this age feel the exact same way.

But I must admit that there are just any many terrific two's are there are terrible two's. Yes, he is difficult, but he's also tons of fun. This is both the most challenging and most fun time I've ever had with my son. And I suppose that's just fine. He's a monster, but he's my monster. And I loves him just the way he is.

I guess my point is that it's amazing how much your perspective changes after you have kids. I feel so bad for ever judging those moms that are now me. All they really needed was a sympathetic "I understand these things happen sometimes, and your childs screaming isn't bothering me" look. I like to give that look to other Mom's now, because I know how much it means to me when I get it. It's like a secret club. Expect we don't have meetings, because there would be too many screaming two year olds.

(This post is going to end soon, because as we speak Ian is getting mad that he can't control my thumbnail.)

I can't help but laugh a little inside when I hear such parenting statements from people who don't yet have children;

-I will never let my child cry it out.
-I will never put my child on a leash or harness.
-My child will always go to bed on schedule.
-I'll never let my toddler watch television.
-My baby won't have any formula.

...and so many other things. Don't get me wrong, many of us can be successful at some of these things. But just because you feel one way about something now, doesn't mean you will always feel that way. Motherhood, children, life changes the way you feel about things. Roll with it. And don't judge until you've been there. I did...and now my kid screams at the top of his lungs in Target. ::shrugs:: Thus is life.

Singing Boy.

Hope it tickles your heart like it does mine. =)

Two.

Happy Birthday to the most wonderful little boy in the whole wide world.

You're TWO!

Already.

Can you believe it?

You've come so very far from your teeny-tiny self.

You're so special is so many ways.

You're funny.

You're loving and sweet.

You're smart.

...and we love you for just being you.

Happy Birthday Booger.

...Mommy loves you.

Reminders

Dear Bump,

I love you dearly. But your constant reminders everytime I log in of how big my baby is getting are making me sad.

2 days? Really?

Love,

A Mommy who is 2 days from a bit of a breakdown

I hope this is the slowest week ever.

...because one week from today, this little booger will be two years old.

I'm not sure if I can handle that. He wasn't supposed to get any older than 18 months. For some reason, that was the ceiling for me. He was supposed to turn 18 months old, and then just stay there forever. I know that I'm so very blessed to get the chance to watch my little boy grow into a big kid, because not everyone gets that chance, but I still feel like time has gone too quickly. Today he is two, tomorrow he'll be twenty.

It makes me wonder how long he'll want to be my baby. How much longer will he want to sleep cuddled up to my back every night? I can't even bare to kick him out of my bed anymore...because the truth is, no matter how uncomfortable it is to sleep with him there, I want him there. And all of the backaches in the world can't put a damper on how good it feels to wake up to him stroking my hair and whispering "Mommmyyy".

He's growing so much everyday. I hope we can just take this next week slow, and take the time to enjoy the small things like popsicles on the back porch, holding hands during naps, and reading the same books over and over again.

*sigh*

I love that little booger so much. It's hard to imagine that he won't be little forever.

A flower for my thoughts:

Have I told you lately how unbearably freaking sweet my kid is?

Oh I haven't? Well then maybe it's about time I do.

Truth is, he's not always all that sweet. He's actually quite a little monster. When he gets mad he scrunches his face together and hits his own thigh super hard. Sometimes he asks me for things (like a slice of cheese) from the kitchen, then suddenly decides that he doesn't want it...so he throws it on the floor, screams "nooooooo!" and runs away, smashing the damn cheese into the hardwood floor.

But then again, most of the time he's a real sweetheart.

As his personality has started to really blossom over these last few months I have noticed that my son is a lover. He's a big fan of things like cuddling, giving eskimo kisses, and holding hands. He enjoys telling people thank you, which in Ian language comes out "Dee-do". He likes to give things to people. He likes to pet the dogs super gently. He likes to rub his Daddy's back. He's even learning to hold the door for people at the grocery store. He really is a rather nice little boy, if I do say so myself.

About a week ago, he picked me a flower for the very first time. Er, well, let me rephrase that. He picked me a flower for the very first time on his own. He has been prompted to pick me flowers before, and he has. However, this time was different. He was off playing in the yard all by himself and I was sitting in the lawn chair on the patio. Then he walked up to me, laid the flower on my belly and says "here go" and gives me a kiss. And just like that, he walked away.

I may have teared up, just a little. I certainly got sentimental enough about it to whip out Toby's iPhone and take a picture.

I can't believe how fast this kid is growing up. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

It's moments like that though, that make me feel like I'm doing this whole "parenting" deal correctly. If I've done well enough to teach little boys to pick their Mommies flowers (flowers that match their bathing suits so perfectly for photo ops no less) than I'm doing pretty darn good. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Reunited.

Ian was reunited with one of his old best friends today while he was going through my nightstand, because he is a rotten kid who does things like that. He doesn't know how to use it properly anymore, since he has been separated from it for 8 whole months now.

He wasn't so happy when I tried to take it away. *sigh*

It will find a hiding place once he loses interest.

It's time for an update.

I feel like lately I haven't had the time to write about things as they happen. And I certainly haven't had the time to share all of the little things. Mostly it's because I started back to school after my wonderful quarter off and I have just been getting back into the swing of things.

So, let's start with Ian;


He's getting big, way too big. I feel like he has really been developing like crazy over these last few months. He already had a large vocabulary, but it seems like he is really grasping the idea of really being able to communicate what he is thinking. He lets me know when he wants/needs something, and sometimes he even *tries* to tell me about his day. He will randomly speak a couple words about something that he really enjoyed doing earlier in the day. He has also taken up calling people "nut". As in "You're a nut!". It's pretty much the cutest thing that I've ever seen.


He's starting to really enjoy eating as well. He has been eating lots of turkey. Ungodly amounts of turkey. He's getting taller (still!) and he's sleeping in a big boy bed. He is also taking a large amount of interest in Vanessa-Kate's things as they start to fill up the house. He likes to hug all of her things and lovingly say "Baaabbby". He gives her lots of kisses at night and tells her "Hiiiiiiiiii!" in the morning. He's going to make a wonderful big brother. I can't wait to see it in action.

And now onto Vanessa-Kate/Pregnancy;

Things are going smoothly. I had my regularly scheduled OB appointment (with my amazingly wonderful and sweet new doctor) today. The first surprise..? I passed my gestational diabetes test with flying colors! This is truly a miracle since I had GD with Ian and 85% or more of women who have GD once will have it again with all of the following pregnancies. My OB says that most of this is due to my wonderful weight gain, or lack thereof. I've been watching my diet closely and taking care of myself well.

The next thing that she checked was my cervix. I know that 25 weeks is early to check, but I dilated very early and fast with Ian, and I also had a long week full of contractions last week. But, thank the lord, my cervix is completely closed. No signs of early labor here! Keep cooking baby girl!

Lastly, she had a beautiful heartbeat of over 150 bpm. I have another appointment scheduled in 3 weeks and then we move to appointments every 2 weeks! Wow! This pregnancy is flying by. I'm getting more and more excited to meet her. It's all really sinking in. Maybe it's because my house is filled with little girl stuff. =)

Lastly a Family/General Update;

I'm not sure if I mentioned it, but Toby got an awesome promotion. We are so very proud of him. This promotion is a really great step forward for our family. He has worked really hard for it.

We've gone "healthy" in our house. We've been eating well, with lots of organic foods, fruits and veggies, whole grains, lean meats, almond milk, tofu, and lots of other good stuff. Tobys only rule? We still have to buy white bread. Our house is filled with healthy foods and a lousy loaf of $1.00 Kroger-Brand white bread. I suppose that we'll survive.

Also, we're finally prepared to buy another car. As soon as we find one that we actually want to buy.

Other than that, I've been keeping very busy with school. I'm a big idiot who thought that taking Mircoeconomics and Macroeconomics (two classes that I loathe) during the same quarter would be smart. Riiight. So if you don't hear from me much, that is why. I've most likely passed out in a pile of books.

Little Joys for a Toddler.

I never imagine that this raggedy old shirt would make anyone as happy as it makes my beanlet.

It's old, bright yellow, basically see-through, and it has a big monkey on the front. It also shows the writing backwards and the monkeys butt on the back (which is ironic since it's pretty much see-through for real). It's also the worlds most comfortable shirt. Toby and I fight over who gets to wear it when it comes home with the clean clothes.

But the best part of this shirt, is how overthefreakingmoon happy it makes Ian. When he's sees that I have this shirt on he runs towards me and starts jumping up and down saying "Mimi, Mimi, Mimi!" Which translates to "Monkey, Monkey, Monkey!" in Ianneese. Then he sits in my lap, strokes my shirt, and talks about the monkey for what see

ms like an hour. He will do this several times throughout the day.

Then, over the next few days he expresses his disappointment that all of my shirts don't have monkey's on them. He will poke my chest and say "Mimi?" in the saddest little voice. He makes his big blue eyes even shiny than usual. He pouts, and he makes me feel bad about having such a lack of animals in my wardrobe.

But it's a really really great shirt. Seriously, everyone agrees.

P.S. Yeah, I know. I look hot with icky hair and no makeup. Ha.

Haircut.

Ian's 3rd Haircut. 03.14.11.

All About Ian:

It's been a while since we've had a post that was all about Ian. But since he's a pretty special kid, I think he deserves it. So I'll take this time to "introduce" you to some things you may not know about him.

Ian Parker Starr

Born: August 15th 2009 (age, 18 months)

Birth Weight: 8 lbs, 8 oz.

Current Weight: 24.5 lbs

Nicknames: Booger, Boog, Boogie, Parker, Parker-Agee, Parker-Agoo, Mcgee, Monster, Monster-Man, Monstrosity, Bubbie, Squeaker, Squeaker-Beaker, Boogalicious, The Boy, Kidlet, Booglet, Bean, Beanlet, Hoplet, Beanhop, Hoplet-McGee. (I'm obnoxious, I know)

Words that he can say at 18 months old: Dad, Mom, Mamal, Papal, Aiden, Trey, Dog, Bo-Bo, Fishy, Duck, Butterfly, Worm, Bird, Bee, Water, Bath, Drink, Apple, Banana, Candy, Cheese, Light, Ball, Book, Baby, Outside, Want, No, Yes, Moo, Baa, Sippy, Night-Night, Tv, Button, Belly, Teeth, Hair, Head, Toes, Eyes, Nose, Socks, Shoes, Three, Two, One, Boy, This, That, Seat, Bites, Spoon, Uh-oh, Cookie, Bubble, Buckle, Yay, Whoa, Blocks, Hi, Bye-Bye, Stinky, Butt, Whoa, See, Bow-wow-wow, Hot, Trash, Cracker, and Kisses.

Favorite Toys: All of his Elmo toys, Cars that make noise, riding toys, balls, baby & blocks.

TV Shows We Watch: Imagination Movers, Sesame Street, & WordWorld.

Favorite Songs: Rockin' Robin, Old McDonald, and the theme song to Two and a Half Men. lol.

Favorite Things to do: Play outside, Take baths, Make blanket forts with Dad, Brush his teeth, Play with Aiden, Spend time with Mamals and Papals, and Cuddle Mom.

Some of the cute things he does: Piles pillows all around himself on the floor, Holds hands with you as he falls asleep, Kisses his baby sister in Mommys belly, Laughs at just about anything, Wears Daddys shoes (and hat,and coat, and...), *Trys* to clean up messes, Counts "Three, Two, One, BLASTOFF" when we put on his shirt, and gives lots of kisses and hugs, and tells everyone "bye-bye-bye" 50 times when we leave a store/restaurant.

Favorite Foods: Cheese slices and sticks, Apple slices, Bananas, French Fries, Fruit Loops, Yogurt, Sweet stuff, and Noodles of any sort.

He's just a very special booger. And we loves him very much.

Mommy loves you Bean!!

My booger is such a big brother.

He fell asleep while loving on his little sister. He patted my belly saying "baby...baby", for 10 minutes, and then drifted off the sleep.

I love that booger.