Saturday, August 4, 2012

A letter for my daughter:


It has occurred to me that I have never written you a letter as I did for your brother. It's not that I haven't wished to, simply that I often do not have the time. I spent the majority of my free time (time not devoted to school or chores) with you and your Bubbie. 

But you should know that you mean the world to me. You fill my heart with a special kind of love that I've never felt before. Maybe it's a special Mother-Daughter kind of love. Or maybe it just feels different because my heart is expanding, so that I can love you and your brother both to the greatest extent. Who knows. All I know is that you bring a certain level of sweetness and joy into my life that I cannot imagine living without.

Your smile is so shy and sweet. I love the way your jaw goes crooked and you push your teeth out when you laugh. I love the little curls that are forming on the back of your head. I love the way you cuddle up and relax when I'm nursing you. I love your soft little belly, and the way you lift up your shirt to show it off. I love the way you toddle when you walk. I love the way you kick your feet to show off when you have your shoes on. I love the way you hug so tight, even though you are so tiny. I love your sweet smell, and your sloppy kisses. I love your weird little noises. I love everything that is you. 

Things have gone by so quickly with you. It seems as if you should still be in my stomach, but instead you are already a year old. But I can honestly say that it has been a wonderful year. Being that you are my second child, I knew just how precious time was, and just how quickly it would fly by. Because of this knowledge I remembered to take the time to take things slow and the savor the moments and the details. I have done all that I can to enjoy each and every minute of your life thus far.

You are a super special girl, and I just know that you are going to do great things. You will be a kind person. You already radiate kindness. I want you to know that I will love you deeply, no matter who you are or what you become. I am, and always will be, proud of you. It pains me to know the struggles you will go through as a young woman. It kills me to know that someday you will look in the mirror and pick yourself apart; naming off things that you wish you could change about yourself. (Don't change a thing! You're beautiful!) It kills me to know that someday some boy will make you feel like you're not good enough. (You are more than good enough. You're too good.) These things are inevitable but, I never want you to doubt yourself. In the grand scheme of things, these things will not matter. I will do my best to teach you to be a good, strong, smart, and caring person. If you can do that, you will be just fine.

The point is...I don't know what the point is. I just love you. And I always will. And I thank God everyday for bringing you into my life. You were the thing that I never knew was missing until you arrived. Now, I cannot imagine a world without you in it. 

Mommy loves you monster-girly. <3 p="p">

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