Monday, January 10, 2011

Let me get up on a soapbox...

I have a very important issue to discuss this evening; maternity jeans.

What in the hell does most of the world have against maternity jeans? Have you never tried on a pair? Have you never felt their glory? Maternity jeans are what God created on the 8th day. They are my all time favorite answer to the old question "What is the best thing since sliced bread?" (which is a ridiculous question anyway, but that's another rant altogether). Maternity jeans, all the way.

So why is it that I hear so many women say "Oh, I just bought jeans in the next size up at the beginning of my pregnancy so I wouldn't have to wear maternity jeans". Seriously, if you have ever said that to me, I secretly wanted to knock you upside of the head. For. reals. Firstly, that is the single most horrible financial decision I have ever heard. Why buy new jeans now when you are eventually going to have to buy maternity jeans anyway? And don't tell me about how a bella band will suffice because it will not. Bella bands are maternity jean wannabes. That is all.

Let's go over a few reasons why maternity jeans are (pardon me, but) the shit:

A. What other time in your life do jeans that fit your butt so perfectly, not squeeze your waist?
B. You look like you are wearing jeans, but feel like you're wearing pajamas.
C. When you are not pregnant, they actually suck your stomach in.
D. In the winter, the full panels keep you warmer.
E. They make all of your shirts look like you are wearing a nice smooth tank top under them.
F. Everything about them is pure wonderfullness. All day, everyday.

So yeah, I've been wearing maternity jeans since I found out that I was pregnant. And yes, I wore maternity shorts over this past summer. My child also turned one this summer, and I was not pregnant.

My point is, I want to always wear maternity jeans. I have no shame in an elastic waistline that no one can see. Maternity jeans complete me, and I complete them. We are the best of friends. I love them because they are the single best invention ever, and they love me because I don't toss them in the back of the closet after a mere nine months of use.

//steps off soapbox.


  1. I totally agree. I loved my maternity jeans while I was pregnant and can't wait until I can wear them again. I remember telling several people that all jeans should be made with a stretchy waist!

  2. I couldn't agree more! I wore them with my first pregnancy starting at about 4 months since I had no idea how glorious they were. I still wore them from time to time even when I wasn't pregnant. I starting wearing them right away with my current pregnancy though!