A letter to my son:

Dear Ian,

Do you know that you are always on my mind; every second of everyday? Do you know that everything about you breaks my heart into a billion pieces everyday...in the best of ways? I never thought that heartbreak could feel so beautiful and loving. When I watch you do things like walk around the house in your shoes, giggle, and give mia-dog kisses, my heart breaks into a million-trillion-bizzilion pieces because I just love you so very very much. My heart simply cannot manage to stay intact because it's not big enough to hold all of the love, pride, and joy that you have been putting into it since the day that you were born.

Do you know that you are the very best thing that has ever happened to Daddy and I? Sometimes, when you're not around, we just lay in our bed together and talk about all of the reasons that we love you. Tonight we talked about your beautiful blue eyes, your soft skin, you bubbly personality, the way you say things like "Mommmm" "Dad-da" and "Tookies!", and how you were just such a big, special, perfect little boy. That's the funny thing about parenting, somehow your children just seem perfect. While you may not be perfect (infact, you are such a booger sometimes!!) you are, however, just perfect for us. You are all that we ever could have asked for and more.

We are so proud of everything that you do and everything that you are. I want you to know that we both want to give you everything that you could ever want in this life, and we pray all of the time that you will be able to be anything, and do anything that you could ever want. You are so very special Ian. There is no other like you. You are ours, and we love you with all of our hearts and souls. I hope that you will always know that.

When I think about you growing up...it breaks my heart a little because I sometimes long for those first days, when you were so tiny and new, and you needed your Daddy and I for everything. I will never forget the way you smelled as a newborn. I will never forget the way that you would just sink into your Daddys chest and fall right to sleep. But, I also can't help but smile when I think about you growing up, because you are growing into such a wonderful little boy. You are already so sweet, loving, caring, funny, and outgoing. You light up the room when you toddle into it.

We love you so much beanlet. So very much.

Love,
Mommy