Call me an optimist, but I've always believed (err...well, strongly hoped) that the terrible two's didn't really exist. Or at the very least that they didn't happen to everyone, aka, me.
But I will openly admit, I. was. wrong. So very wrong.
Never again will I judge that Mother in Target who has that crazed "I'm about to go on a killing rampage" look in her eye with the screaming child in the cart. Because now that's me. Before becoming a parent I always thought that those people just didn't discipline their children, or that they didn't care about other people, or that maybe they didn't pay enough attention to the child. Ha. Maybe those thoughts are what built up the karma that made me into that Mother with the screaming child.
I promise. My child is not neglected. He also doesn't get away with everything he wants to do. Yet, he's still a monster.
Yes, a monster. That may sound harsh, but is true. He whines about ev-er-ry-thing. All day, every day. Most of my day is filled with high pitched screaming. I also spend a lot of time with Ian standing in front of me jumping up and down and tugging at any part of me that he get a hold of. He has always liked holding on to my thumb and rubbing my thumb nail. For a long time, it was cute, and comforting to both of us. These days he SCREAMS hysterically if I don't have a free hand all of the time. Everything is a challenge these days.
I feel guilty. The days with him are exhausting. Sometimes I find myself doing all that I can just to count down the hours until he (and I!) can fall asleep. I love him to death, and I know this is just a phase, but sometimes it's exhausting. But I've found that as I've talked to other Mom's with children this age feel the exact same way.
But I must admit that there are just any many terrific two's are there are terrible two's. Yes, he is difficult, but he's also tons of fun. This is both the most challenging and most fun time I've ever had with my son. And I suppose that's just fine. He's a monster, but he's my monster. And I loves him just the way he is.
I guess my point is that it's amazing how much your perspective changes after you have kids. I feel so bad for ever judging those moms that are now me. All they really needed was a sympathetic "I understand these things happen sometimes, and your childs screaming isn't bothering me" look. I like to give that look to other Mom's now, because I know how much it means to me when I get it. It's like a secret club. Expect we don't have meetings, because there would be too many screaming two year olds.
(This post is going to end soon, because as we speak Ian is getting mad that he can't control my thumbnail.)
I can't help but laugh a little inside when I hear such parenting statements from people who don't yet have children;
-I will never let my child cry it out.
-I will never put my child on a leash or harness.
-My child will always go to bed on schedule.
-I'll never let my toddler watch television.
-My baby won't have any formula.
...and so many other things. Don't get me wrong, many of us can be successful at some of these things. But just because you feel one way about something now, doesn't mean you will always feel that way. Motherhood, children, life changes the way you feel about things. Roll with it. And don't judge until you've been there. I did...and now my kid screams at the top of his lungs in Target. ::shrugs:: Thus is life.