Sunday, July 17, 2011

A letter to my son:

Dear Ian,

Here we are. We've finally made it. We are a couple of days (at most!) away from meeting your little sister. We are all super excited and anxious. I can't wait to see you meet her for the very first time.

I've been spending so much time thinking about how much my life is going to change once she gets here that I have almost forgotten to think about how very different things will be for you.

I worry because I know you won't be my one and only anymore. I worry that I won't be able to give you all of the love and affection that you deserve. I worry that your teeny-tiny heart will break when I can't give you my attention from time to time. I worry about the little things; like...what if I have to feed her as you are falling asleep? What if I don't have a spare hand for you to hold so that you can rub my thumbnail as you drift off to sleep? That's your thing. And while I know that you are eventually going to have to learn to fall asleep without doing it...I'm not ready to take it away from you. I need those last few minutes before I fall asleep too.

This morning I laid in bed and held you. I watched how sweet and innocent (ha!) your face looks when you are sleeping. I watched your chest rise and fall. I remembered how tiny you used to be, and thought about how I couldn't ever picture you growing to be as big as you are today. You are already growing so very fast and I don't know if I can handle it going any faster. But I have a feeling that once your sister is here, it will. Everything will be even more "warp speed" than it already is.

I have no doubt that I will love her. Though it's hard to imagine loving any other baby as much as I love you...deep down in my heart I know that I will. In fact, the entire reason I will be able to love her so well is because of you. You taught me how to really and truly love someone with all of your being. Before you arrived, I knew what love was. But it was not until I learned to love you that I really knew what love was all about. You taught me that, and I am forever grateful. You are impossible not to love.

What I want you to know is that no matter how much things change from here on out, I will always love you. I am sorry to know that you may go through some changes where you may feel like you aren't getting all of the love and attention that you have in the past. But it's not true. Daddy and I still love you just as much, and love you more and more everyday. Never ever doubt that.

You are so filled with love. I know that you are going to show your little sister so much of it. I know that you will be loving, caring, protective, and nurturing...because that's just who you are.

We love you so much booger-bean. You have grown into such an amazing little boy. You bring us so much joy everyday.


No comments:

Post a Comment