So much has happened since I last wrote. I have been back in school for two quarters now, and I'm happy to announce that I have received all A's! However, after some serious consideration and thought about our hopes and needs as a family we decided that it would be best for me to enter into the business program rather than the RN program. It's just not the right time. But, on the bright side that means I will graduate within the next year since I already have so many credits towards my business degree.
Being back in school has really helped me to gain back some self-esteem. I feel like it's something that I accomplish for myself, not for everyone around me, which is a rarity these days it seems. I am thankful to have loads of support for my husband and my family. My grandma takes Ian every Tuesday, all day, so that I can do all of my homework. It normally means that I spend 7 hours staring at a computer screen, but it's kind of nice. I get to sit in the solitude of my bedroom, in my favorite chair, with whatever I want on tv, and just do my own thing. I love have Toby and Ian around, but I won't lie, I really enjoy the occasional alone time.
Toby has continued to excel at work. I am so proud of him. For once in his life he wholeheartedly enjoys what he is doing. He's happy. It shows in the way he lives from day to day. He no longer comes home from work looking tired and beat down. He always comes home refreshed, and looks forward to the rest of the evening. They have given him his own department! He started at the company back in December, when they first opened in our hometown. He interviewed for warehouse labor, but happened to meet a very nice lady in HR who sent his application "upstairs" because he was so personable and because of his resume. From there they hired him into call center. Then he just happened to fall into processing returns in his spare time. Before he knew it he had designed a whole new returns system and policies for the entire company, and was having meetings with some very high up people. Now he has been assigned to new committees, has had several meetings with the president of the company and leads up the returns department. As of tomorrow, he will have his own team! There has been no talk of his new "title" or any pay advancements that may come with it, but we feel so blessed just to know that his hard work is paying off. God has helped him to get this far, so we are confident that he will take care of us, and our financial woes in good time.
Speaking of financial woes, yes, we are still living with my parents. We are still saving and feel like we are closer to a home of our home everyday. Sometimes it's hard because I feel like it's hard to get ahead. Some days I long just to have my own furniture, kitchen, and shower again. Sometimes I just wish I could go pee in the middle of the night in my underwear. But I feel confident that we are doing the right thing for our family. All in all, it's not a bad situation. My family is great, and most the time they are quite easy to live with.
Still, I stand behind the decisions I have made. I know that maybe things could have been easier had we not got married so young, and then very soon after (accidentally!) conceive Ian. But our love grows stronger every. single. day. After almost 6 years together Toby is still my best friend. He is my rock. If I could go back, I would marry him again, over and over. I know that we have made the right decisions in our lives. It pains me that so many people in the world would laugh to know that two high school sweethearts got married and had a family, so many would call what we have ignorance. Someone on an online message board that I frequent once told me that my marriage would "most likely fail since I got married young", and that all of my friends who are out drinking, partying, and sleeping around would most likely have successful marriages because they "experienced life" before settling down. I'm sorry, but that's so untrue. I have nothing against what most people are doing at my age in most cases.
Call me old fashioned or ignorant, but I cannot fathom waking up 50 years from now and wish that I had had sex with someone other than my husband in my life. I think it's sweet and romantic.
In other life news, Ian will be 11 months old this week! There are only 33 days until his 1st birthday. I don't know where the time has gone. It feels like it was only yesterday that I would spend hours lying in bed with my hand on my belly, just waiting to feel his little foot press against my skin. But today I'm planning a 1st birthday party as my son walks (yes walks!) around the house and plays with his toys. I don't have a newborn anymore. I have a baby who talks, and has teeth, and walks, and eats real food with his own hands, and drinks real milk out of a sippy cup, and laughs, and makes silly faces, and tries to play video games with Daddy! Where did my teeny-tiny baby go?
and with that, goodnight.