Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Home.

Our apartment is growing smaller by the day.

It's a two bedroom, and though it is pretty decently sized, it doesn't have adequate storage. It's one of those places that doesn't have simple things like useable closets in the bedrooms (our room has no closet, the kids room has a furnace in the closet), nor a place to store things like linens and towels. But overall, it's a nice little place.

It's on a main road and it's on the second floor. While this seemed charming when we had just one child to control while loading a car by a busy street and to carry up the stairs while carrying 10,000 bags of groceries, now, these things are nearly impossible.

As for laundry, it also has to be done off-site. This leaves me toting huge baskets of laundry up and down the stairs, along with a toddler and an infant car seat twice a week. Only to do the same thing again once the laundry gets home. Then I spend a half hour folding the laundry and putting it away in random places that make no sense...you know, since we don't have working closets. Ah, and a dishwasher. I would kill for a dishwasher.

But, there are certainly great things about this place. The kids have a room big enough to share. I love to look and feel of the colors and the old historical builing. I like our strange floorplan. The rent is a steal.

Our lease is up in November, and while I know that we need some place bigger...part of me is hesitant to leave. This place really and truly feels like home. Our baby has grown into a big boy within these walls over the last year. We found out we were pregnant within these walls. We brought our new baby home here. We've laughed, cried, and grown so much here.

I didn't realize how much this place felt like my home until I was on my way back from my Moms house last night. Both of the babies were sleeping silently in the backseat, it was almost 11pm, and I was enjoying the peaceful drive home by myself. As I passed the town limit sign a wave of relief washed over me. It was that "Ahhh, I'm home" type of feeling. The next half mile drive to our apartment just felt right. And I realized how much I'm going to miss this place when we move on.

I know that we need something on the first floor. I know that I would LOVE to watch my babies play outside in our own yard next summer. I also know how much time I could free up just by being about to do my own laundry at home. But, I also feel like I'm leaving behind the first place that ever really felt like it was all ours. We feel safe here, and this place is filled with such love. I know we can take all of that with us when we go, but it's still hard to think about leaving.

I also hate to think that we're going to have to go through this whole thing again before we really find our "home". We were considering buying after this lease was up, but we've decided to rent for one more year, since it will make a significant difference in our downpayment.

*sigh*

I've got to stop thinking so much, eh?

1 comment:

  1. I hope you find a perfect new home when it comes time.

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