Friday, June 17, 2011

Flashback Friday.

This is a picture of Ian taken this time last year.

It's amazing to think about all of the things that have changed in the past year, and still, all of the things that have stayed the same. After all, Ian still sports those beautiful big blue eyes. They keep him out of trouble...sometimes.

The binky is gone. Kicked it soon after his first birthday. His hair is shorter, and grows in more evenly as it tends to do as kids get older. He certainly talks a lot more now. Oh yeah, and he can walk. Minor details.

We were living with my parents when this photo was taken. Toby was still in an entry level position in his job. We certainly weren't considering having any more children. Now we live in a great place that we love, Toby has jumped up several positions in the company, and we are expecting to meet our daughter any time now.

I must say that I have learned a lot in this past year. I feel more comfortable in my own skin. I feel like I know so much more about the person I am, and the person that I'm striving to be. I don't feel like a new mom anymore. Meaning I don't feel as much insecurity in my decisions. I enjoy being Ian's Mom, and I do a good job at it. I don't worry that I'm making the wrong decisions.

I'm trying to be a better person. I'm letting things go that my heart has held on to. For the most part, I'm trying to learn how to not be angry about the past anymore. And I'm trying to care less about what others do. I've always cared too much. It's not that I wanted to judge people, it's just that I had a hard time watching people making decisions that I knew were wrong, or making decisions to do one thing, when there was so obviously a better option right in front of them. But, I've come to see that I too have done the same thing. People have to make mistakes. It's life. Let them do it. You don't have to agree. ::shrugs:: Maybe part of that has come from becoming more comfortable with myself.

However, I've also learned that you've got to be happy with who you are, and in order to do that, you've got to put your family first. Since Toby and I have started prioritizing spending time as a family (and worrying less about making sure everyone else feels satisfied) we have become so much happier, and worry-free. Though I must say I wish that we had the time to spend with more people. But with Toby working nights, we hardly get to see each other during the week. We spend an hour or so laying in bed together watching television after he comes home from work. We sleep in, since we stay up late. Then we spend the late morning hours and early afternoon getting showered, dressed, and fed. Toby answers emails and catches up on work, and then he's gone until 11:30+ again. It's rough, but it works for now. Right now we're focusing on trying to find just one night to go out on a "date" before Vanessa-Kate arrives. We'll see if it happens. =P

All in all, it's been a wonderful year. And I can't wait to see what the next one holds.

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